


Conversations over the radio

by sugarpanties



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M, really just read it, unusual form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 08:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarpanties/pseuds/sugarpanties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you can hear something else over the radio than just orders and when you're trying to rescue Loki, you can be sure the conversation's gonna be interesting. <br/>Enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations over the radio

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write something, like really bad.
> 
> It's a little bit unusual form, but it was fun.
> 
> So, here goes nothing.

 

"Tony! Watch out!"

"You're lucky I have Jarvis or you'd be dead, Steve! That was fucking close!"

"I've warned you, didn't I?"

"Clint, behind you!"

"I got it, Natasha. God, this is worse than Budapest. Fucking Doom."

"Friends, more are coming."

"Why thank you, Thor. However, there's no point saying that in the middle of the battle. Of course there is more!"

"Tony, calm down. It's gonna be okay-"

_(loud explosion, people screaming)_

"-or not."

"You're not helping, Capsicle."

"I see Loki."

"Where is my brother? I'm not close enough."

"See? That's why I love Bruce the most. Now, buddy - where is the moron of mine?"

"He's with Van Doom. I think he's bleeding."

"I'm gonna kill that bastard. Yup, really slowly with a lot of imagination."

"May I offer you my help, Man of Iron?"

"Sure, which part you want, big guy? Top or bottom, but I want to smash his balls and rip him a new one, so you'll probably end with that ugly face."

"Fine by me."

_(another loud crash, sound of sirens)_

"Stop it! You can't kill him."

"Don't worry, Stevie boy. I'm just gonna cause him a near death experience."

"Tony, no! Stark, come back, it's an order. Damn it! (...) He's not coming back, is he?"

"Nope."

"And there's going to be a smashed Doom on the pavement."

"Yup."

"Clint, stop it and keep shooting. I won't stitch you up again."

"But it's fun, Bruce!"

"Will it be fun when Tony's dead? (...) That's what I though."

_(Tony is landing down)_

"Well, well, well, isn't this the famous Tony Stark himself? You came back to get your pet?"

"Hello, Victor. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public."

"Funny as always. Funny and pathetic."

"You're not gonna cry for me, are you?"

"Hardly."

_(Victor fires)_

"Missed. Now, give me back what's mine and maybe I won't kill you."

"I don't think so. You see, Loki is not yours, he's not even mine, but he sure will be, whether he likes it or not."

"Man, your head is a mess. Are there rainbows and unicorns in that picture, too?"

"Tell me, Stark - why are you the good guy?"

"I'm not the good guy. (...) I'm the cool one."

_(Tony ducks, Doom gets shot by his own returning bullet)_

"How did you...?"

"Have you met Jarvis, yet? Jarvis, say hi."

_(Tony aims his arm on Victor's chest)_

"Now, Stark, don't be ridiculous, you won't actually-"

"Wanna bet?"

_(He shoots him with sedatives)_

"Loki, how many times have I told you not to play with bad kids?"

"Sorry, darling. I wasn't paying attention to him when he showed up. It get a little unpleasant after that."

"You think? There're DoomBots everywhere, two buildings have exploded, Steve has that scary look and you're bleeding."

"It's nothing. A little scratch won't kill me, it hardly hurt my pride."

"Arrogant bastard."

"You love me."

"Man of Iron, is my brother safe?"

"He's with me, Thor. Everything's smashing."

"Did you get rid of his captor?"

"Nah. I'll bring him to ya."

"Very good, my friend. I shall see you after the battle. With my brother, I'm sure it won't take long."

"Sure thing, buddy. See ya."

_(Loki goes to unconscious Doom and kicks him in the stomach)_

"Better?"

"Much."

"Tony, we need you up here. Move your ass!"

"I'm on it. (...) Wanna shoot some robots?"

"You have no idea. I wanted to kill something all afternoon."

"Well, let your dream come true, babe. I'm gonna check on Clint. You're okay?"

"I'm fine, Anthony. Go, I shall end this as quickly as I can."

"Eager, aren't we?"

"Stark, I don't care if you fuck him through mattress later, but now use that fucking suit and do your work."

"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level, I'm really quite busy, Nick."

"I don't care about your fucking hormones. Now shoot something or I will shoot you."

"I can get rid of the problem in few minutes, director. There's no reason to be rude."

"Well, than do it! God, you a pair of some serious mother fuckers."

"As you wish."

_(Loki clicks his fingers, all the robots fell down)_

"Now, that's how you do it. (...) Okay, you're done here. Go back to the Tower and write your reports. I want them tomorrow. No exceptions!"

"Yes, sir."

_(In the tower)_

"Stop frowning at me."

"It's only a scratch, Bruce. I appreciate you help, but it is really not necessary."

"Loki, I know you're a god, but I swear you act just like Tony does when I try to treat his wounds. You're a pair of genius five years old."

"Thank you, Bruce, that's sweet. (...) Now let me go or I'll start to scream."

"Why would you do that?"

"I don't know. Haven't tried this one yet."

"Okay, just- take it easy."

"You know I won't."

_from the living room:_ "Loki, tell Bruce you can manage without his wise advices and come here."

"Go, I can't do much more."

(...) "You shouldn't be so rude, love."

"I get you out of there, didn't I? Now come here, so I can have my kiss."

"Urg, guys, seriously? Why is it always me you kiss in front of?"

"Oh, Clint, you're here? Sorry, you're so small I must overlook you."

"Shut up."

"You manage to piss off all of your friends in a record time today, Anthony."

"It needs some practise, but it's not as hard as it looks. Moreover, I have the right to be bitchy - my boyfriend almost died today."

"You exaggerate."

"And if it wasn't for me, he would end in some smelly hole with the stupidest monkey, that calls itself a man, and have to suffer in its presence."

"Now you're just making up those."

"But he's lucky I love him so much, so I was there in time to rescue him."

"You know... it's hard not to think you're an idiot when you're saying things like this."

"Thank you, sweetheart."

"I love you too."

"Yeah, I'm just that awesome."

_(They kiss again)_

"Really? I'm still here!"

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it (and I hope so) please leave me a comment, okay? Comments are love and you know it


End file.
